[At that, Lavi's expression breaks -- just a little. He ducks his head as if to pull away from Tuuri's grasp.]

Don't.

[...]

I don't want them to. It's not supposed to be like that. [even if it's true, even though Tuuri's saying nothing but the truth,] It's not because I hate myself --

[though he also does]

Bookman aren't meant to mean anything to anyone. We live only for history.