[She hears that tone, and she sees that face, and it makes that pain in her chest tighten just a bit more.
It's fine, everything's fine, it'll all be fine. That's the mantra she's been using to get through everything up to this point. It becomes harder to keep to with every trial that passes, but somehow she's holding onto it. For now.
"I'm scared of double-dying here, because it means either being killed by someone I've come to care for or being executed in a horrible way." It's fine.
"I really do like you, but if I tell you then that's just going to leave you with the pain when we end up separated at the end of all of this." Everything's fine.
"No matter how everything turns out, I'm still either going to stay here or end up dying within a few weeks of going back." It'll all be fine.
She bites down on her lip for a moment to steady herself. No crying here, there's nothing to cry about! It's all going to be just fine.
Everything's. Fine.
She manages to keep a smile on her face, thinking it won't betray the turmoil within her.]
[Admitting to being hurt or afraid? That's something she hasn't done in a long, long time.]
...it feels wrong of me to complain like that. Comparatively, things aren't so bad for me. And...I don't think it'd be good, for people to worry needlessly about me.
[She's going to die no matter what happens. The only difference is 'when' and 'where'. She can't burden people with that.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But she's here now, and she's alive and she's even smiling. That's the present reality. It's tempting to leave it at that. And yet...]
Tuuri...
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It's fine, everything's fine, it'll all be fine. That's the mantra she's been using to get through everything up to this point. It becomes harder to keep to with every trial that passes, but somehow she's holding onto it. For now.
"I'm scared of double-dying here, because it means either being killed by someone I've come to care for or being executed in a horrible way." It's fine.
"I really do like you, but if I tell you then that's just going to leave you with the pain when we end up separated at the end of all of this." Everything's fine.
"No matter how everything turns out, I'm still either going to stay here or end up dying within a few weeks of going back." It'll all be fine.
She bites down on her lip for a moment to steady herself. No crying here, there's nothing to cry about! It's all going to be just fine.
Everything's. Fine.
She manages to keep a smile on her face, thinking it won't betray the turmoil within her.]
It's okay, I'm fine. See?
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[She's here and she's fine.
....... but...]
When I listen to you talk about the things you're hopeful about... I feel like I can believe them, too.
But you don't always have to be... I mean, if you're hurting or afraid, I'll listen to those things too.
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[Admitting to being hurt or afraid? That's something she hasn't done in a long, long time.]
...it feels wrong of me to complain like that. Comparatively, things aren't so bad for me. And...I don't think it'd be good, for people to worry needlessly about me.
[She's going to die no matter what happens. The only difference is 'when' and 'where'. She can't burden people with that.]
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... I want to help you. I can't do that if you don't talk about it.
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...can we just sit together for a bit then? That would help a lot.
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[there's probably a couch or something they can sit on here.]
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She is going to rest her head against Zel's shoulder once they're situated too.]
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Zelgadis closes his eyes and lets the moments pass in peace.]